Ghosting: The not so crafty way of going M.I.A

It’s safe to say that if ghosting was a criminal offence then we’d all have served jail time, but thank goodness that it ain’t, but it still does’nt mean it’s not one of the worst ways to cut off communication with someone you’ve been talking to. But what is ghosting really? Is it putting on a white bedsheet and going to your crush’s window and standing there making ghost noises ( I wanna see the guy who convinced everyone that ghosts’ go-to adlib is Boo! I could have honestly thought of a better sound ) . According to the Urban Dictionary (very reliable source of course) “ghosting ” is when a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they’re dating, with zero warning or notice before hand. You’ll mostly see them avoiding friend’s phone calls, social media, and avoiding them in public. Sounds like a really messed up thing to do right? well then let’s get in and see why we all somehow do it in the end.

In my opinion, ghosting is like drunk-texting an ex, I mean sure we all know that it’s a bad idea, but after the right amount of alcohol and minimum supervision from our friends we’ll probably find ourselves doing it, only to feel shitty the next morning. Similarly, ghosting reflects poorly on your end and you’d rather not do it, but somehow sometimes it just happens and you can’t really help it. Today I wanna break down the dynamics of ghosting with some ghosting FAQs ( you’re welcome!)

Photo by Katerina Holmes on

What is ghosting?

Like I said in my intro, ghosting is the unceremonious way of ending communication with someone by just going dark and ignoring them without giving them any explanation whatsoever. In other words the ghoster simply decides to cancel the ghostee without saying why and that’s how the ghosting goes. All this talk about ghosts has me thinking about Ghost from Power, damn I miss Ghost tho.

How do I know I’m being ghosted?

While there are various factors that affect how fast someone can reply to your texts, it’s pretty safe to say that if they haven’t replied in three weeks then they’ve probably ghosted you. If you’ve rung them a couple of times and they haven’t returned any of your calls, or you can’t ever seem to bump into them in person when you used to so frequently, they’re probably trying to avoid you. Double texting and tripple-calling someone who’s ghosting you probably won’t help too, don’t fight it, just take the L and go .

Why am I being ghosted?

Geez, there could be a number of reasons my guy. For starters, they just lost interest overtime and the conversations just got boring and they just figured what the hell. Maybe they spotted some massive red flags and just decided to run for the hills, or they’ve just diverted their attention towards a new potential match. In friendships is where it actually hurts more than in dating and it’s usually because they probably don’t value the friendship as much anymore, or maybe it’s situations beyond their control, maybe they are so busy that they can’t find ten seconds to reply to your texts (I meant it sarcastically but it actually does happen too, a lot in fact). The reasons are endless but I assure you that in any case none of it is your fault, they just have shitty communication skills and didn’t have the guts to be upfront about how they are feeling and tell you they don’t feel like talking anymore. You’re an amazing person who’s better off dedicaating your time to people who value it and who are better at communicating their needs, which I hope you improve on too.

What do I do if I’m being ghosted by someone I care about?

If you texted your crush and they never responded, you’d probably figure it was worth a shot anyway and get over it, but when it’ssomeone you’re involved with, it can really hurt. Imagine going five years strong with someone then one day they just disappear from your life without ever explaining why. While some off us can shake it off, the whole ordeal could take a toll on you and leave you depressed or anxious, so do seek professional help if need be, nothing is ever too petty to seek help for. While you might also feel like knowing why they did it will give you closure, it’s definitely not the case here and you’re better off just letting it be. If it helps you feel better, reach out to them one last time and express how you’re worried about them and would like to know if they’re okay, that way you can live knowing you tried to save the relationship and it’ll give you some peace.

Photo by Alex Green on

How do I ghost someone who’s bothering me?

While It sucks to be on the receiving end of the stick, sometimes it feels necessary to ghost someone. Maybe it’s an ex who keeps calling, or that guy you liked one of his pictures on Instagram now he won’t get out of your dms. I’m not here to judge, you have yor reasons, now lemme show you how to ghost someone like a BAWSS! It’s simpe really, DON’T GHOST SOMEONE, it’s not nice and you’d rather take the higher route of openly discussing how you don’t want to continue the interaction. In any case they’ll probably understand and will let you be. Maybe you’re tryna get over someone you’ve recently broken up with, instead of flat out going M.I.A, express to them how you probably need some time out without talking to them and then maybe in the future you might talk again. This way, you won’t make enemies out of them because you never know how your paths will cross again in the future.

There you have it folks, my run down on all things ghosting and I hope you have a clear understanding of this phenomenon and that you’ll be better able at handling it in the future. Life is hard enough as it is already, aspire to never be the reason why somebody goes to bed sobbing at night. Remeber to stay safe and play nice in these streets, Peace and love y’all.

7 thoughts on “Ghosting: The not so crafty way of going M.I.A

  1. Mmhh😅all the memories of being the ghostee just ran through my mind!🤣

    I equally agree that ghosting people just isn’t it. Breakups and friendship break ups are an actual thing… just communicate.. you don’t lose anything 🤷🏿‍♀️ state your case then leave. Going ghost is just rude😂 imagine all the mental stress you’re putting on the other person who’s trying to figure out what went wrong.. smh

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Totally agree☝🏿. I’d rather someone tells me, it’ll hurt but then my mind will know it’s time to heal and move on… rather than being kept waiting for nothing.
        In that time of aimlessly waiting, I’d have been healing, you know…

        Liked by 1 person

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