I woke up today just like any other day and per usual rushed to check my socials, after a 30-minute battle with my alarm clock of course. After replying the only message that I had that was from grandma, I started scrolling the gram and I came across a post that just got me livid! In this said post, a woman was asking for advice on the internet about how to best resolve an issue involving her brother and his wife. Apparently, the brother abandoned his wife some ten years ago and left his child who was only two months old at the time, to only come back and start playing co-parent after so long. This isn’t the worst part, this man, no, I can’t even call him that, this disgrace then went on and sexually abused the same child he had abandoned, the wife found out and set out to press charges against him. Now what upset me about this post is how the sister is actually asking for how best they may talk the wife out of reporting the matter to the police!
What’s infuriating about this is that this isn’t the first time I’m hearing about a situation like this. I’ve heard it several times before and it breaks my heart that people will prioritize keeping their family name intact than have a sick bastard be thrown in prison. In this scenario at least the mom was hellbent on getting justice for her daughter, sometimes it is actually the mother who stands with the abusive uncle or husband and tells the abused child not to report the matter and never mention it to anyone. Imagine going to your parent, the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally and protect you with all that they’ve got, for them to tell you to keep your mouth shut and somehow live with the trauma of facing your abuser every other time they come to visit! I swear some parents don’t deserve to be parents, there’s a big difference between having been the one to give birth to someone and being their parents. These people aren’t parents, they are monsters!
All of these stories have gotten me to think about whether the real problem with rape culture are the rapists themselves, or the victim’s family and justice system altogether. Even if you manage to report the issue, there’s no guarantee that the person who abused you is going to get punished for their crimes. Rape cases are always pretty hard to rule and it goes down to a matter of he said-she said, so what do we do? What do we do when it’s not just random strangers pouncing on you from behind a thicket of bushes to rape you, when it can be your best friend, your boyfriend, your uncle, father, even your siblings? How do we put a stop to this vicious cycle of insatiable men who will go to whatever lengths to get sexual gratification, even if it means potentially scarring the people that they force themselves on for life? Surely there must be a special place in hell for people who rape their own blood, she has to put her guard up when she goes out into the world, now she’s not safe even inside her own home? This is sickening and it has to stop!
Normally you’re advised to confide in your family members and they’ll get you the help that you need, so what happens when they are more interested in protecting the rapist. What do you do when the very hands that are supposed to comfort you are helping to muffle your screams? I honestly don’t know how best we can put an end to rape culture, self defense classes, safety apps like Noonlight, texting a friend before going out, I’m not sure if they all can suffice to keep one safe out here. I want every single person reading this to do their part to end this nightmare, educate yourself about consent to make sure you’re not taken advantage of or violating someone’s consent, have frank discussions with your families about their roles in such instances, be prepared to stand alone and get the help you need if ever they turn your back on you and spread awareness about ending rape culture. You’ll be surprised to see how many of your friends are ignorant about such matters simply because they’ve never experienced it and are probably of the opinion that people who get abused only get abused in the first place because they put themselves in a position to be abused. Most importantly, STOP PROTECTING RAPISTS!!!